Artieka Nicole

Artieka Nicole — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 05:48:05 +0000

Yup…
I moved.

PursuitofFabulous.com

I am: Artieka

Artieka Nicole — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 06:50:58 +0000

Note: A lot of my old entries will be trashed soon so this is a look into who I am for new readers.

My work: I am the co-owner of Level 22 Media and Public Relations. I also work part time at [a major retailer]. I am also an aspiring writer.

But my passion is: writing and helping others.

I wish I’d always known: you have to have a plan even if you go away from it, you need a plan.

Right now I am reading: Keep the Faith as well as A Belle In Brooklyn

Right now I am obsessed with: Reading archives of weblogs.

The thing I am most proud of: Realizing my passion and not trying to do what society thinks I should.

People are impressed by my: Resilience.

People are surprised that I am: trying to move to New York.

I cringe when: people asks me, “What if it doesn’t work out?”

I still can’t get the hang of: living back at home.

To relax I: Play old r&b music and curl up in bed.

I am most motivated by: the fact that I need to leave Memphis.

The lesson I learn over and over again is: trust your first mind.

I am inspired by: everything: people, things and conversations

Epiphany

Artieka Nicole — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:08:00 +0000

Today I had an epiphany. I had two talks last night. Two different lads and both ended up saying the same thing. Well not exactly but what I got from them both is that I’m afraid.

I am afraid.

There, I admitted it. Fear has consumed me on the front of relationships. I’m not sure why I’m still afraid because I know in my mind the worst that could happen is that I’d end up alone. What is so bad about that? I’m comfortable in the skin I’m in and I’m used to being my own company. Actually, I think I’m the best company I could ever ask for.

I grew up as an only child. My brother by my mom being 12 years older than me and my brother and my sister by my dad lived with their own mothers. My mother spent a lot of time working so I was used to being alone. Sadly, I think that my comfort in being alone has now become my refuge. If I don’t want to talk about or deal with something, I make alone time. It’s just easier that way. Plus, I can’t disappoint myself.

Maybe that’s it. I’ve been disappointed. But what woman, man or child hasn’t? I understand that disappointment is a part of life but why does it keep happening to me?

Reflection: 2009

Artieka Nicole — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:52:58 +0000

We’re nearly halfway through the holiday season and though I know that I am no where near the goals I had set for myself this time in 2008, I know that the goals that I have set for myself for the next 5 years will be worth the ride that I am setting myself up for.

In 2009, I:

Graduated college
Moved back home to Memphis
Was unemployed for 2/3 of the year (actually January – October)
Started my own public relations company
Met and fell in love with a man
Began writing for an online magazine
Began writing what I hope to be my first book
Developed a plan to make the most of Memphis and make it to NYC before NYE 2010

Needless to say 2009 has had a list of ups and downs and I did a terrible job adjusting. I spent a lot of time in a depressed slump. I have since made it over a hurdle and though I’m not to the Artieka that I would like to be, I am making great strides. I’m currently working on my vision board and dream log so that I can make sure that I am properly defining my 2010 and beyond goals. This blog, my writing and how I approach both of them are going to change sometime soon. This wasn’t to be an ending 2009/beginning 2010 goal, it just fell into that time frame.

Life in general seems to be falling into place and I’m loving where I am. I’m just trying to make the most of all the lemons life is handing me and instead of making lemonade like the rest of the world, I’ll make lemon chicken and cocktails to wash it down with.

Artieka Nicole — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:34:43 +0000

I’ve decided to write a book. I’ve got the name down as well as a few chapters but the rest of it is a work in progress. It’s going to be an account of my life (recent times) and will definitely tell a story. I’m grateful to have people in my life that encourage me on a daily basis (Charly, Ace & April you too indirectly inspire & encourage me). I’m actually more excited about this than I have been about anything in a very long time.

I’m going to shift my focus and try not to talk to anybody about it (except Ace who was the first to know the idea and encouraged me to pull it off). So next thing is revamping this blog. I do believe a lot of these posts are about to be deleted and then we’ll go from there.

Miss you much

Artieka Nicole — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 06:12:45 +0000

Ok, so I’ve been away from my blog. Kinda living life kinda trying to figure out what my next move is.

I made a decision to move my blog. I’m not sure when, but I’m getting a domain again. I think it’s going to be a full website. I haven’t worked out any of the details but I have a vision. I’m going to keep this one too tho, so I’ll have two blogs. I know the details need to be ironed out and this doesn’t exactly make a lot of sense but I’ll try to keep you all updated on the process.

Signficance

Artieka Nicole — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:03:40 +0000

So a friend of mine asked me a while ago about significant loves. She’s an aspiring therapist and was working on something for one of her books. (She plans to write a few during her time helping others…) Anyhoo, it wasn’t just me she quizzed, there was a group of her friends, family and the like that she sent this message to.

In the poll/quiz, my friend asked how many significant loves I’ve had. It took me a lot of time to sit down and think about it who has even been significant on an in general tip.

Of course I listed my first love/ real/ only relationship. He was definitely significant. He was my first everything. He was my EVERYTHING. Then he began to act distant which made me act distant and we eventually broke up.

After trying to be friends and getting back together only to break up less than a month later, I found of why he acted so distant (he was cheating) and of course I always thought something was wrong with ME. It’s what we do as women. But yeah, he was my first and probably only significant relationship I’ve ever had.

Because of him, I put my guard up and have just recently taken it down. He’s the reason I have trust issues (well he and my dad) why I never wanted to love and why I couldn’t get into another relationship. In short, he fucked me up in the head.

So, about 5 years ago (when we broke up the last time) I told myself that I wouldn’t love anytime soon… if ever again. That I wouldn’t care and that I wouldn’t let another man hurt me they way that he did.

I just would not.

Over the last 5 years, I’ve dated casually (some being exclusive) but I never named a puppy (gave a relationship a title). Recently the guy that I’m seeing asked me would I be his girlfriend and as he said the word all of the pain from my ex came back and I couldn’t bring myself to say yes.

Now I love him and he loves me but for some reason, the hurt just came right back like a ton of bricks. Hit.Me.Over.The.Head.

I couldn’t do it. I wanted to say yes so badly but, I couldn’t do it.

I know it made him upset which that is a very valid emotion considering how things panned out & for that I apologize. I’m working on doing better and I just hope he reads this to know that it wasn’t him it was one of those things that I’ve kept with me from my past that I’m working on letting go.

Mars vs. Mars ?

Artieka Nicole — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:04:02 +0000

Ok, I’m not a big Jay-Z fan like at all. My boo is, a few friends are but me… never got into callin him the greatest. I respect him as a business cause well nobody is really touching him on that front but I’m more of a down south girl when it comes to rap. BURR. (yeah, I’m ignant.) But, on Blueprint 3, my favorite track is Venus vs. Mars. (not that I listened to all of the tracks cause I haven’t…)

Shawty get it in, daddy go hard

On to me and him…

We’re both Aries so that makes us both Mars tho I should be Venus in the traditional sense of it. You know women are from venus, men are from mars… but that’s not how it goes.

This mars turned venus is having a hard time coping with everything. I can’t get into the traditional venus shit. like at all.

I hits it from the back, Shawty like the front

I want to be venus but I’m so deeply rooted in my mars dominance that I just can’t lose control and boy do I want to lose control.

Okay…

Artieka Nicole — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:21:16 +0000

I’ve been doing far too much of the wrong stuff and not enough of the right stuff. I can officially admit it but now I need to work to change it. You all know Level 22 is my lively hood but I haven’t been into it like I should so now I’ve got to regain focus. I also have a main money maker now that is about to get hectic as it is the holiday season. I’m just trying to put life into perspective.

I need it together by 2010. I can’t go into another year with all this confusion in my mind, life, and head. I’m currently redoing my list of 101 things to accomplish in 1001 days as well as trying to focus on writing a few things for projects large and small. And then there’s my boo.

I’ve got to do better by him. He loves me and I love him back and well… he’s another blog post. (Don’t worry April, I’m writing it. )

But in short, I’m working on focus. I think I need someone in my life to delegate tasks to because I’m that person for everybody else and it’s just not working for me right now.

young forever

Artieka Nicole — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 06:59:58 +0000

this taught me that there is far too much songz on my computer… and d’angelo just plays when he wants to…

back to regularly scheduled blogging

MEME Rules:
1. put your itunes/ music player on shuffle
2. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?”, YOU SAY?
spanish joint – d’angelo

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
watching me – jill scott

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
what’s your name – free sol

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
maui wowie – kid cudi (i’m not high at all…)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
love lock down – songz remix

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
the line – d’angelo

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
untitled – d’angelo

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
sweet girl – dondria

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
feelin like money – songz (yuuup)

WHAT IS 2+2?
deep – songz

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
shit damn motherfucker – d’angelo (wowzers)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
lady love – letoya (“my swags incredible can you keep up with me tho”)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
brotha – jill scott(don’t let nobody hold ya control ya or mold ya)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
cakin witchu – dondria (lol i don’t cake)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
you’ve changed – some jazz mix

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
try again – aaliyah (sigh… think they want me to try again)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
if – destinys child (i’m soo dancing to ewf – september)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
venus vs. mars – jay z (“Fell for the ponzi scheme, damn shawty just Made-off”)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
we need a resolution-aaliyah (i do try to solve problems…)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
the greatest – tip ( I’m the greatest, ay, I’m the greatest)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
hottest thing- usher

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
young forever – jay z